joy of attraction

Getting The Love You Want workshop is a copyrighted program that helps the couple in the journey from the joy of attraction in romantic love which is largely PROJECTION, through anger and confusion, to real CONNECTION and mature love.


Sunny Shulkin one of Harville Hendrix’s long-time master trainers in Imago Relationship Therapy, likens the couples’ journey to that taken by Dorothy down the Yellow Brick Road. In our quest for love we are drawn to the sound and the fury of the larger-than-life WONDERFUL WIZARD. ‘THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD,’ this attraction is momentous and compelling, not only inspiring joy, but also fear, frustration, and eventually anger and rebellion. We need INSIGHT and BRAVERY to pull back the curtain thus revealing the real person behind the projection. On our couple hood journey we come to have COMPASSION (the opposite of anger) for ourselves and for our partners, enabling increasingly deeper CONNECTION leading to the real gift of mature love.


The journey to connection provides the opportunity for us, like Dorothy’s companions, to reclaim lost parts of ourselves essential to wholeness and the sense of FULL ALIVENESS that characterizes mature love. Like the Scarecrow, we may gain a BRAIN, developing creativity or assurance in our cognitive functioning. Like the Tin man, we may gain a HEART, feeling and expressing emotions more deeply. Like the lion, we may gain COURAGE, being free to act on our own behalf. Like Toto, we may trust and follow our SENSES, to appreciate what is really around us and find the way home.


Most workshop attendees say they want to change their relationship to enable the connection they want—intentional, safe, and deep connection. To do this couples move beyond superficial parlor games to develop understanding of human development, neurology, and functioning. They come to understand how behavior is adopted as protection early in life, how behaviors form patterns, how our perceptions and reactions make sense in context, and how our ‘choices’ become habits that hold us in our patterns.


Once you understand behavior patterns and how habits function, you can choose to continue the process of changing your interactions to GET THE LOVE YOU WANT.